Navigating the Preteen Years

by Faith Kamau | Jul 4, 2025 | Advices, Articles, Parenting, Practical Tips for Christian Parents, Preteens, Teens

A Christian Parent’s Guide to Raising Confident and Godly Kids

Let’s face it, raising a preteen is no small task.

Between mood swings, shifting interests, growing independence, and a sudden obsession with YouTube shorts or sneakers, it can feel like you’re parenting a completely new version of your once-easygoing child.

But here’s the truth: the preteen years (ages 9–12) are a powerful window a time to speak identity, build trust, and lay a foundation of faith that will carry your child through adolescence and beyond.

In this post, we’ll explore how to raise confident, Christ-centered preteens with practical tools and biblical truth that work in real life.

1. Understand What’s Really Going On Inside Their Head

Preteens Are Changing Fast

The preteen brain is developing rapidly, which explains a lot of what you’re seeing:

Better reasoning and decision-making, one minute…
Total meltdown over pizza crust next.

Identity Is Being Formed

They’re asking deep questions like:

“Who am I?”
“Where do I fit in?”
“Do I matter?”

This is your chance to speak life, truth, and purpose into their hearts. Let them know: They are loved, seen, and created by God for something great.

Emotions Are Intense

What seems small to you might feel enormous to them. A missed invitation, an awkward moment in class, these things leave a mark.

Offer empathy, not just correction. Let them feel, while guiding them with truth.

2. Help Them Build a Christ-Centered Identity

The world is quick to offer identity based on likes, looks, and performance. But God’s Word speaks a better story.

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made…” Psalm 139:14
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…” Jeremiah 1:5

Practical Ways to Build Identity in Christ:

Talk about God daily, not just on Sundays. Make faith a part of everyday conversation.
Read the Bible together; even short devotions can open deep discussions.
Live it out, let them see you trusting God, praying through problems, and loving others well.

They don’t just need to hear the truth, they need to see it lived.

3. Communicate (Even When They Seem to Pull Away)

Preteens may act like they don’t want to talk, but don’t stop showing up.

Try These Tips:

Be available at the right moments, often bedtime or car rides, and open unexpected doors.
Listen first. Don’t jump in with solutions. A listening ear builds trust.
Create a judgment-free zone where they can talk about feelings, fears, or failures.

Remember: connection now creates influence later.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries Without Harshness

Your child may want independence, but they still need structure.

Make Boundaries Clear and Consistent:

Explain the why behind rules (they’re not just control, they’re protection).
Stick to limits, even when it’s inconvenient.
Teach self-discipline by giving them ownership of responsibilities like chores and schoolwork.

Boundaries communicate love when enforced with consistency and grace.

5. Prepare Them to Handle Peer Pressure with Courage

Friends are everything at this age. That’s why helping your child stand strong in their faith and make wise choices is critical.

Equip Them With:

Decision-making skills: Practice how to say “no” confidently.
Discernment: Teach them to ask, “Will this honor God?”
Biblical courage: Share stories like Daniel, Esther, or David, who stood strong in tough moments.

Help them seek friends who share their values and know that it’s okay to walk away from unhealthy friendships.

Final Thoughts: Be Present, Be Prayerful, Be Grace-Filled

The preteen years aren’t just a challenge, they’re a gift.

They’re a time to build trust. To affirm identity. To help your child see themselves through God’s eyes.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You have to be present.

Keep praying. Keep listening. Keep planting seeds of faith.

And trust that God is shaping your child’s heart even in the messy, unpredictable, holy middle of growing up.

Try This at Home This Week:

Ask your child: “What was one hard and one happy thing today?”
Do a 10-minute Bible reading together (start with Proverbs or Psalms).
Write them a short note that says what you see in them that’s God-given and beautiful.

Raising Preteens in a Digital Age

by Faith Kamau | Jun 20, 2025 | Advices, Articles, Parenting, Practical Tips for Christian Parents

A Christian Parent’s Guide to Navigating Technology with Wisdom and Faith

Let’s be honest, parenting preteens in today’s digital world can feel overwhelming. With smartphones, social media, YouTube, TikTok, and gaming platforms becoming part of daily life, many Christian parents are asking:

“How do I help my child stay grounded in faith while living in a connected, fast-paced world?”

You’re not alone. The digital landscape is evolving fast, but here’s the good news: God’s wisdom is timeless. With intentional guidance, open communication, and a solid biblical foundation, you can raise a preteen who thrives both online and offline.

Let’s walk through some practical strategies and spiritual insights to help your child engage with technology responsibly, while keeping Christ at the center.

1. Understanding the Digital World Your Preteen Lives In

Before we guide our kids, we must understand their world. Today’s preteens are digital natives; they’ve grown up with screens, emojis, and instant access to everything.

What’s Good:

Educational tools and access to biblical content.
Creative outlets like music, art, and storytelling.
Staying connected with friends and family.

What’s Risky:

Constant distraction and reduced attention spans.
Exposure to harmful content and unhealthy comparisons.
Pressure to seek identity through likes, followers, and online trends.

Instead of fearing technology, we can help our children approach it with purpose and discernment, using it as a tool, not a trap.

2. What the Bible Says About Tech Use (Yes, Really!)

Technology may be new, but the Bible has plenty to say about how we use our time, guard our hearts, and seek wisdom.

Teach Digital Stewardship

“Be very careful, then, how you live not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…” Ephesians 5:15-16

Help your preteen view technology as a gift, not a right. Encourage them to:

Set goals for screen time and take digital breaks.
Use devices to learn, create, and connect, not just consume.
Balance tech time with faith-building and family moments.

Guard the Heart and Mind

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

Equip your child to recognize content that distracts or damages their spirit. Ask:

Is this true, noble, right, and pure? (Philippians 4:8)
Does this help or hurt my walk with God?

3. Set Healthy Digital Boundaries (Without Power Struggles)

Rules without a relationship often lead to rebellion. But clear, consistent boundaries with love help kids feel secure and supported.

Create a Family Tech Plan

Limit screen time and create “device-free zones” like dinner or bedtime.
Teach online manners, kind comments, no oversharing, and respect.
Use tools like parental controls and filters not as punishment, but as protection.

Encourage Real-Life Fun

God didn’t create us for screens alone! Help your child:

Develop offline hobbies like sports, music, reading, or crafts.
Join in family walks, board games, or service projects.
Connect with Christian peers through church, Bible studies, or youth camps.

4. Keep Your Preteen Safe Online (Without Hovering)

You don’t need to micromanage every click, but you do need to be involved.

Talk About Online Dangers

Teach the importance of privacy: Never share full names, addresses, or passwords.
Discuss how to spot and handle cyberbullying.
Let them know: “If something makes you uncomfortable, you can always come to me.”

Equip Them to Make God-Honoring Choices

Ask reflective questions:

Does this content reflect God’s truth?
Would you watch or post this if Jesus were beside you?
How does this activity make your heart feel closer to God or further away?

Open conversations foster trust, growth, and wisdom.

5. Cultivate a Christ-Centered Digital Life

Technology doesn’t have to pull your child away from God. It can also be a tool to grow closer to Him.

Faith Can Thrive Online

Encourage your preteen to:

Use Bible apps and devotionals.
Follow Christian YouTubers, musicians, and content creators.
Share positive, faith-filled posts with their friends.

Remind them: Jesus is Lord over every part of life, including their digital life.

Model What You Want to See

Kids watch what we do more than what we say.

Let your child see you:

Limiting your own screen time.
Choosing uplifting content.
Putting faith, family, and presence first.

When you model healthy habits, you give your preteen a living example of what it means to live faithfully in a digital world.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Raising a Tech Expert, You’re Raising a Kingdom Ambassador

Navigating this digital age doesn’t have to be scary. With biblical wisdom, honest conversations, and intentional parenting, you can help your preteen develop a healthy relationship with technology that honors God.

Remember:

You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You’re not in this alone. God is with you.
Every small step you take matters.

By guiding your child with grace, structure, and love, you’ll prepare them not just to survive in the digital age but to shine as a light for Christ in the middle of it.

Ready to Create a Christ-Centered Digital Life in Your Home?

Start today with:
✅ One screen-free family meal
✅ A new Bible app challenge for your child
✅ A tech talk using Philippians 4:8 as your guide

You’ve got this by God’s grace.

Building a Strong Relationship with Your Preteen: Practical Tips for Christian Parent

by Faith Kamau | Jun 13, 2025 | Advices, Articles, Parenting, Practical Tips for Christian Parents, Preteens, Teens

Building a Strong Relationship with Your Preteen

Practical Tips for Christian Parents Navigating a Critical Season

Parenting a preteen can feel like walking a tightrope; one moment you’re laughing over their latest joke, and the next you’re navigating mood swings, deep questions, or awkward silence. If you’re a Christian parent, you’re not just helping them grow emotionally and socially; you’re helping shape their faith and values during one of the most transformative seasons of their life.

The preteen years (usually between ages 9 and 12) mark a powerful transition from childhood to adolescence. They’re asking bigger questions, craving independence, and figuring out where they fit in the world and God’s plan. That’s why now, more than ever, your connection with them matters deeply.

In this post, I want to share practical, faith-filled tips to help you build a strong, Christ-centered relationship with your preteen one rooted in trust, open communication, and spiritual growth.

1. Understanding Your Preteen: What’s Really Going On?

Let’s start here, your preteen is not a mini-teenager or an older child. They’re in their unique phase. Their body, brain, and emotions are changing fast, and they don’t always know how to make sense of it all.

What’s Happening in Their Mind and Heart?

They’re beginning to form their identity and want more independence.
They might challenge your authority (not because they don’t love you, but because they’re learning to think for themselves).
Peer opinions and social media more influence them than ever before.

What Are They Struggling With?

Self-esteem and identity questions: “Am I good enough?” “Where do I belong?”
Peer pressure: fitting in feels like everything is right now.
Balancing responsibilities: school, family, friendships, it can be overwhelming.

Your role? Be their safe space. Be the calm in their chaos. Let them know they’re cherished and never alone.

2. Communicate in a Way That Builds Trust

One of the biggest shifts during the preteen years is how we talk to our kids and how they talk back (or don’t).

How to Keep the Conversation Going:

Create a judgment-free zone. Let them talk. Don’t always correct, sometimes just listen.
Validate their feelings. Saying “I understand” goes a long way.
Ask open-ended questions: “What was the best part of your day?” “What’s something that’s been on your mind lately?”

How to Tackle the Tough Topics:

Yes, they’re thinking about the big stuff: faith, friendships, choices, boundaries, identity. And no, you don’t need all the answers. Just be willing to have the conversation.

Talk about faith and values openly, not just during devotions.
Walk with them through hard questions using biblical truth and grace.
Remind them that God welcomes their questions, and so do you.

3. Strengthen the Bond with Time, Not Just Talk

Want a deeper relationship with your preteen? Be where they are. Show up. Consistently.

Presence is More Powerful Than Perfection:

Share in their daily routines, homework, sports, music, and even screen time.
Plan one-on-one time weekly, even just 15 minutes, can change the tone.
Learn about what they love, whether it’s art, anime, sports, or baking.

Create Meaningful Family Moments:

Start a weekly family tradition: game night, ice cream walks, devotionals.
Serve together, volunteering fosters connection and shared values.
Create sacred time for family Bible reading and prayer. Make it personal and engaging.

4. Guide Them in Faith Without Forcing It

Preteens are watching. They’re listening even when it seems like they aren’t. Your faith speaks louder through your actions than your words.

Live It Out in Front of Them:

Pray openly. Trust God publicly. Apologize humbly. Love generously.
Let them see how you walk with God through both peace and pressure.
Be real about your faith journey, it permits them to grow through theirs.

Help Them Make Faith Their Own:

Encourage them to keep a prayer journal or devotional habit.
Talk through Bible stories and how they relate to real-life questions.
Answer their doubts with honesty and scripture, not shame.

5. Build Trust and Respect Through Boundaries and Freedom

Preteens want to be treated more like adults, but they still need your guidance. Finding the balance between structure and freedom is key.

Loving Discipline Builds Confidence:

Set clear, biblical boundaries but explain the “why” behind them.
Discipline with grace, not fear. Correction should feel like care, not rejection.
Be consistent, not controlling. Trust is built on predictability.

Let Them Stretch Their Wings:

Give them chances to make age-appropriate choices (even if they mess up).
Teach problem-solving instead of always stepping in.
Remind them: You’re not just raising a good kid, you’re raising a godly adult.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone in This

Parenting a preteen can feel like you’re constantly adjusting. And you are. But here’s the good news:

With God’s wisdom and your love, this can be one of the most meaningful seasons of parenting.

So take a deep breath. Lean on the Holy Spirit. Stay rooted in prayer. And remember the goal isn’t perfection. It’s connection.

You’re doing holy work. And every small moment, every hug, every conversation, every prayer is planting seeds that will grow into a lifelong, Christ-centered relationship.

Has this blog helped you?
Share it with another parent navigating the preteen years. You’re not meant to do this alone, and neither are they.